The maniac is back

[hanras]

Wow. Can you move in with your father?

I would have already, if it was possible.
He started a new family years ago and lives in another state. Changing highschools would be one problem, as well as my evil stepmother who has made a point of not seeing me for nine years. That's about the same duration as it was since the last time I didn't have to stay in a hotel and actually went inside my dad's house.
I would like to take control of the monthly child support and rent a studio nearby, but my dad thinks its a crazy idea. Believe me, I'm in a lot more danger right here.

If it were me, I'd list the things your sister and mother have done and tell him you're going to need that child support money for a room you're going to rent near the school. It would be good to get an arrangement somewhere so that you don't need a rental agreement. See if you can arrange the room rental first, find out exactly what the costs would be. Arrange with your father so that he pays you the very next child support check (instead of to your mother). Keep her out of the loop until the moment of truth. Coerce your father, telling him that this is going to happen. As soon as he says he will, find a friend who has a car who can help move your clothes to the new place.

As soon as you get to into the new room, apply for welfare. You should be able to get a small amount of money to supplement you to pay for food.

Have a private talk with the principal in your school, telling him/her what the situation is. They should have some policy in place where you won't have to take your report cards to your mother's house to be signed.

this is brilliant advice.

[sally.loo]

The maniac has started her reign of terror.
She behaved herself relatively well for the past three days, besides giggling to herself and playing the piano horribly while my friends were over. Today?
The facade drops, and true colors are shown. I'm just watching youtube videos when I perceive a light, persistent knocking in the door, as well as a phone call. It turns out that my sister was jumping up and down, shaking windows in the entire building. I hadn't noticed as I was watching videos loudly in my room. so, I had to lie to my neighbor, telling him I was the older of the two, and that my sister was simply exercising, as well as her not speaking english well to avoid direct confrontation. Yup. Wonderful. And yeah, my mom wasn't home.
And right now?
I'm awaiting another knock on the door confirming that the noise was from our complex.
I confronted her, and she said "if you couldn't hear it, they couldn't"
Fucking dumbfuck. Someone stop me from shooting her, please

[dammit]

Dont shoot your sister, thats not nice.

Look i got an aunt kind of like that, i know is not the same, but she makes us have some really embarassing moments. We just accept it and try to make it as smooth as possible.

You know what i mean jelly bean?

[LifesBeenGoodToMeSoFar]

The maniac has started her reign of terror.
She behaved herself relatively well for the past three days, besides giggling to herself and playing the piano horribly while my friends were over. Today?
The facade drops, and true colors are shown. I'm just watching youtube videos when I perceive a light, persistent knocking in the door, as well as a phone call. It turns out that my sister was jumping up and down, shaking windows in the entire building. I hadn't noticed as I was watching videos loudly in my room. so, I had to lie to my neighbor, telling him I was the older of the two, and that my sister was simply exercising, as well as her not speaking english well to avoid direct confrontation. Yup. Wonderful. And yeah, my mom wasn't home.
And right now?
I'm awaiting another knock on the door confirming that the noise was from our complex.
I confronted her, and she said "if you couldn't hear it, they couldn't"
Fucking dumbfuck. Someone stop me from shooting her, please

If it were me I'd lie and tell my mother that the complex has given you a warning that you're going to be kicked out if the noise doesn't stop. Tell her that some official-looking person came to the door and warned you but you didn't take down his/her name.

Your mom needs a reality check. She's not getting that allowing your sister to live there could mean that you all get kicked out. She needs to have some "skin in the game" as one marketing person used to say. Your mother then will say something to the effect of "you'll have to keep her quiet". This would be her attempt to put the problem onto your shoulders. You'd need to reply "no, that's impossible and you know it... or should. We're going to be homeless because of her. You need to do something different than this."

Your problem here is your mother, not your sister. She wants to take responsibility of your sister in a way, but she isn't. She's put the problem on your back not her own.

Remember how your mother stopped you from calling the police the last time? If your mother isn't there then she can't very well stop you this time, now can she? You have some options here. 1) You could threaten your sister that you will call the police if she doesn't behave and that they will take her away. You don't have to be too scary in your description but you can suggest in nice/helpful tones that this won't be pleasant. 2) You could threaten your mother that you will call the police yourself the next time if your sister becomes uncontrollable like this. You don't have to raise your voice or be angry. Face her off and tell her what you intend to do if she (your mother) doesn't take some action herself. 3) You could actually call the police pre-emptively on the non-911 line and ask them to send over someone to talk to you about this situation. Tell them your concerns and what has happened in the past. Have them open up a case file if that's what they want to do. Ask for advice and what your options are. In asking, consider the possibility of finding a place or situation where just *you* can get out of there and leave the problem behind entirely. Try all angles. The police are usually busy but I assure you that they will treat you well if you honestly reach out for help like this.

Note that if you first suggest to your sister that she behave or you'll call the cops... and then you do actually call the police and have them over for a talk (in front of your sister) then this will train your sister that when you make a threat you are serious about it. If you do it in a nice way (not malicious or angry) then you will show your sister that you care enough to rein in her behavior.

[sally.loo]

Wow. Can you move in with your father?

I would have already, if it was possible.
He started a new family years ago and lives in another state. Changing highschools would be one problem, as well as my evil stepmother who has made a point of not seeing me for nine years. That's about the same duration as it was since the last time I didn't have to stay in a hotel and actually went inside my dad's house.
I would like to take control of the monthly child support and rent a studio nearby, but my dad thinks its a crazy idea. Believe me, I'm in a lot more danger right here.

If it were me, I'd list the things your sister and mother have done and tell him you're going to need that child support money for a room you're going to rent near the school. It would be good to get an arrangement somewhere so that you don't need a rental agreement. See if you can arrange the room rental first, find out exactly what the costs would be. Arrange with your father so that he pays you the very next child support check (instead of to your mother). Keep her out of the loop until the moment of truth. Coerce your father, telling him that this is going to happen. As soon as he says he will, find a friend who has a car who can help move your clothes to the new place.

As soon as you get to into the new room, apply for welfare. You should be able to get a small amount of money to supplement you to pay for food.

Have a private talk with the principal in your school, telling him/her what the situation is. They should have some policy in place where you won't have to take your report cards to your mother's house to be signed.

thanks for the advice, but it would be illegal for me to take control of the monthly child support because my father legally must pay her once a month as long as she is my primary caretaker. The only way to escape this would be to go to boarding school- which costs a ton. My dad is a dentist, but dentists are businessmen. And businessmen are suffering. And changing high schools is really not a good idea.

[sally.loo]

The maniac has started her reign of terror.
She behaved herself relatively well for the past three days, besides giggling to herself and playing the piano horribly while my friends were over. Today?
The facade drops, and true colors are shown. I'm just watching youtube videos when I perceive a light, persistent knocking in the door, as well as a phone call. It turns out that my sister was jumping up and down, shaking windows in the entire building. I hadn't noticed as I was watching videos loudly in my room. so, I had to lie to my neighbor, telling him I was the older of the two, and that my sister was simply exercising, as well as her not speaking english well to avoid direct confrontation. Yup. Wonderful. And yeah, my mom wasn't home.
And right now?
I'm awaiting another knock on the door confirming that the noise was from our complex.
I confronted her, and she said "if you couldn't hear it, they couldn't"
Fucking dumbfuck. Someone stop me from shooting her, please

If it were me I'd lie and tell my mother that the complex has given you a warning that you're going to be kicked out if the noise doesn't stop. Tell her that some official-looking person came to the door and warned you but you didn't take down his/her name.

Your mom needs a reality check. She's not getting that allowing your sister to live there could mean that you all get kicked out. She needs to have some "skin in the game" as one marketing person used to say. Your mother then will say something to the effect of "you'll have to keep her quiet". This would be her attempt to put the problem onto your shoulders. You'd need to reply "no, that's impossible and you know it... or should. We're going to be homeless because of her. You need to do something different than this."

Your problem here is your mother, not your sister. She wants to take responsibility of your sister in a way, but she isn't. She's put the problem on your back not her own.

Remember how your mother stopped you from calling the police the last time? If your mother isn't there then she can't very well stop you this time, now can she? You have some options here. 1) You could threaten your sister that you will call the police if she doesn't behave and that they will take her away. You don't have to be too scary in your description but you can suggest in nice/helpful tones that this won't be pleasant. 2) You could threaten your mother that you will call the police yourself the next time if your sister becomes uncontrollable like this. You don't have to raise your voice or be angry. Face her off and tell her what you intend to do if she (your mother) doesn't take some action herself. 3) You could actually call the police pre-emptively on the non-911 line and ask them to send over someone to talk to you about this situation. Tell them your concerns and what has happened in the past. Have them open up a case file if that's what they want to do. Ask for advice and what your options are. In asking, consider the possibility of finding a place or situation where just *you* can get out of there and leave the problem behind entirely. Try all angles. The police are usually busy but I assure you that they will treat you well if you honestly reach out for help like this.

Note that if you first suggest to your sister that she behave or you'll call the cops... and then you do actually call the police and have them over for a talk (in front of your sister) then this will train your sister that when you make a threat you are serious about it. If you do it in a nice way (not malicious or angry) then you will show your sister that you care enough to rein in her behavior.

haha, I love the lie idea. but things would swiftly unravel because my mom is the type who would wait to get an official notice from my apt. manager....
But I probably could get my sister easily kicked out. She has a police record for beating me when I was younger, so if my social worker knew that my sister was living with me, my sister would be kicked out and my mom would also face consequences- and possibly get her guardianship over me revoked. but the trouble is... where to go then?
I'm apparently not welcome in my father's house, and then I'd either have to be taken in by a relative or foster care. So despite me ranting and all like someone who's about to go on a bloody rampage, I have actually been careful about my actions and their consequences.
I actually have gotten the law involved previously by provoking my sister to violence and then calling the police at the most opportune moments; resulting in my sister being sent to a half-way home. But then the gov't started to snoop around and ask about the competence of my mom. My dad was worried by the prospect of me being sent to a foster home, so he lied about her stability and mental health. So basically, i'm sorta stuck

[LifesBeenGoodToMeSoFar]

Well... maybe you want to hide and otherwise sequester your own stuff that you don't want demolished and then let your sister have her way with the various objects du smash that otherwise decorate the common areas. I'm not sure how to assist you in coping other than protecting your own things and further, protecting your own self from her harm.

[XTinaThinksUrStupid]

Where do you live????

[sally.loo]

Where do you live????

haha, an awkward question... to which I will give an equally awkward reply:
Not far from you, sweetie.
jk. I come from Southern Cali

[sally.loo]

Well... maybe you want to hide and otherwise sequester your own stuff that you don't want demolished and then let your sister have her way with the various objects du smash that otherwise decorate the common areas. I'm not sure how to assist you in coping other than protecting your own things and further, protecting your own self from her harm.

Terrific idea, I've also been not in the home frequently as of late in order to avoid conflict. But that isn't good either. Thanks for all of the advice, btw, it's really encouraging. I'm just going to hope for now that my mom realizes the disadvantages of living with my sister, and won't take action until i've really thought things through

[givemeabreak]

YOUR SISTER DEFINITELY HAS A PERSONALITY DISORDER.
Fuck , I should know.
What you described is a small fraction of what I've experienced from MYSELF when being frustrated about the screwed up relationship, marriage, i'm in. And all the other fuck-faces in this world who piss me off with their ignorance.

By nature I'm peaceful, loving and fun.

However, when trapped in a bad realtionship, and due to the limitations in my own head or the reality of the limitaions I've barracaded myself into by becoming an isolationist, a lot of frustrations have accrued.

Once that level of frustration has gotten to its' peak, stupid shit happens, especially if other people start in with the stupid behavior as well...

IS THERE A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN GO GET ANSWERS? IN PERSON? a SUPPORT GROUP FOR PEOPLE WHO LIVE WITH MENTALLY ILL PEOPLE?

Whatever is going on with your sister, she needs help. You need help to deal with this.

It's not healthy at all.
She should be crying out for help.

NO one healthy does these things. I hope your mother recognizes that your sister needs help and this should not be ignored!

Oh, now, I might have to pray for you! It's THAT serious

Good luck and prosperity above the bull-shit~